Living For The City

With all the rain we’ve been getting and with everyone’s busy schedules it’s been hard to get folks together to put in the kind of kilometers we were putting in last summer. Tonight when I couldn’t get anyone to put tire to asphalt with me (granted, I didn’t try too hard) I hopped on the Lakeshore and opened ‘er up. There was a cool breeze along the waterfront, the trails were clear, quiet and I’m about as relaxed as I get. Word up.

On a totally unrelated note; when I was a kid, probably no older than 6 or 7 years old, I threw up all over myself in our old yellow station wagon and had to pull over at this gas station to get into my underoos for the rest of the ride to my Auntie Carol and Uncle Daniel’s place.

Those turrets became as much of a symbol of the city for me as the giant Phallus in the skyline - it bummed me out so hard a couple of years ago to see an empty lot where it used to stand. Imagine my surprise when I saw that it’d hadn’t been razed - it had just been moved across the street where it is currently being restored.

The very same day that I decided to buy my first Mac for home use, my creative director called us into the boardroom and proposed the idea of the whole New Media department make the switch. Knowing that I was already planning on heading out that night to pick one up, it didn’t take much convincing. They came in this week and these things are truly beautiful - I’m so psyched!

…to Road Rash.

Sparkles took a nice tumble on the slippery ride home from the Regulators’ game last Sunday night.

I took a much more embarrassing tumble at the game, proving that I either need to buy some cleats or improve my balance - or better yet a little from column a and a little from column b.

An honorable mention goes to my gal Steph who chewed up her backside pretty badly last night making a brave attempt to steal home at the Missfits game (she’s done it before, folks, she’s stealthy!) but I forgot to download the photos and I don’t have the cable with me - not that I think she’d be too stoked about me posting gratuitous butt shots all over the internet, anyway!

On my way to the outdoor dodgeball game the other night I had a little encounter with a minivan piloted by a human-sized penis that had me steamin’. Cyclist / Motorist beef is nothing new but I felt this particular incident worth mentioning.

• I was riding Eastbound on Queen approaching Dufferin
• I cut left to avoid right turning cars
• Once through the intersection, I got back into the right lane
• I was riding about 2 feet out to avoid the plentiful and significant potholes and roadside bombs
• The Cryptkeeper in his minivan behind me didn’t appreciate the fact that there was a cyclist in front of him regardless of the fact that I was easily doing his speed or better
• He starts riding me closer and begins to honk
• I respond with a simple hand gesture, as you might expect
• He guns it to my left, looks me dead in the eye and then cuts right in an effort to sideswipe me
• My left pedal connected with his right rear wheel which was very nearly enough to bring me down
• I managed to stay upright, he took off and I gave chase

As I approached his car, now stopped on Queen, I had a million thoughts racing through my head but my prime directives were as follows; a) u-lock through his rear window b) fist through his cigarette stained corn kernal teeth and down his throat c) grab his heart and pull it up to where his Adam’s apple normally sits and leave it there because that is where mine had been sitting from the moment this ancient son of a bitch turned his two ton wrecking machine into me.

Fortunately, I’ve been working on controlling my temper on the road and by the time I’d caught up to him my better judgment had taken hold and rather than further escalating the situation in a negative way I chose to slide in front of his car, block his exit, call the police and wait there until they showed up.

The police arrived and from the onset of our interaction they treated me with a great deal of respect, consideration and understanding. I understood from the moment I called them that very little could or would be done (unfortunately the proof normally required in a case like this would be my head smashed open on the pavement) but I thought the incident worth reporting and the officer agreed - his hope was that even having to deal with them that night would cause him to think twice the next time he felt the urge to run someone off the road.

The responding officer gave him a lecture about sharing the road and let him know that, by all accounts, I had not done anything wrong (save for the hand gesture) and had a very friendly talk with me about how “these old guys” handle themselves on the road and how careful guys like me have to be in dealing with people because I’m more vulnerable on my bike - no arguments there.

Be careful out there folks; being in the right is good but trust me, being alive is better.

I’ve been playing Dodgeball for the last 3 years or so as a part of the 3 time champion DirtBalls but last Friday Steph, Jordan and I switched it up and played late night, outdoor, alcohol infused dodgeball with a bunch of folks (including former competitors) in a local school’s tennis court. Needless to say, it’s a buttload of fun and I highly recommend coming out if you’ve ever wanted to play but weren’t able to due to limited spots on our highly coveted team.

I think they’re playing again in two weeks so I’ll be sure to post up and let y’all know!

Much like Matias, Bentley and Tommy were apparently quite upset that they hadn’t really been featured on the old blogerino so here’s a couple snaps of two of my favorite little guys.

Tommy: eating carrots fresh from his momma’s patio garden*.

Bentley: making sure that no one gets to sleep in.

*and loving Motörhead.

Lyndsey over at Adrift finally got in these black on black vegan old schools that I’ve been scoping for some time now but haven’t been able to find in the city (in my size) but didn’t care enough to order online. I haven’t owned a pair of old schools in probably 15 years so I’m pretty jazzed.

While I was there I picked up a couple pairs of the Vans Spicoli sunnies that she has on the cheap. The last time I remember owning sunglasses that I actually liked was sometime in the late 80’s / early 90’s when I had a pair of knock-off Wayfarers and wanted badly a pair of Frogskins. It’s only fitting that I would again own a pair of knock-off Wayfarers and knock-off Frogskins (sort of) because I don’t think I could ever pay more than $20 for something that I will almost certainly break or lose before summer’s end. I almost think that they are too cool for me but then again, who says that I can’t be cool? I can be cool! Sooooooooo cool!

Two sunnies is the new one sunnies - you didn’t know? I knew.

When I put my order in for Lucille I ordered a set of Nitto Bullhorns hoping that the finish would match my ti-grey rims but when I got them I found them to be a little bit too silver for my liking and they got shelved.

For the last little while I’ve been experiencing some wrist pain, particularly on longer rides - nothing too severe but enough that I notice it and figured that something would have to change before it gets worse. The bars that I’ve been riding with for the last few years have a bit of drop before the reach which aesthetically I like but what I found is that my hands would rest on the drop itself, putting them at a weird angle and straining my wrists.

While retaping my bars this weekend, I figured I’d throw the Nittos on and see how they felt and perhaps not surprisingly, they feel great. I really did prefer the Kling-On Warship appearance of the other bars but the straight bar gives my wrists the support they need and after about 5 minutes of riding with these I realized just how noodley my old bars were. The value of stiffness in bike components is something I’m really starting to understand and appreciate and these guys deliver in spades.

Whenever you hear someone talking about moving to places like Vancouver from places like Toronto, they usually make mention of the mountains, forests, rivers, etc. that sit just outside of the city and all the adventures they are going to have. How many of those people do you think actually take advantage of those natural wonders? I’d say probably as many as there are that actually take advantage of all the amazing things we have in our own backyard - which is precisely when our friends Vicki and Frazer invited us to go tubing in the Elora Gorge we jumped at the chance!

If you plan to go tubing in the Elora Gorge - you have to get there super early, I’m talking pre-9am early, to avoid the insane lineups and be sure to get yourself a tube.

Fortunately for us, we found a local wise-man who was willing to trade a few cartons of cigarettes for his spare truck inner tubes and we were off to the rapids!

You still need to rent the life jacket / helmet but apparently they are plentiful; it’s the tubes themselves that are in shorter supply and high demand.

Because I lack both a waterproof enclosure and a desire to lose my camera like I lost Frazer’s sunnies in the rapids I don’t have very many photos of the day so you’ll have to just watch this video and use your imagination.

Roberto is selling his IRO Dark Matter wheelset (120mm, fixed/fixed) so that he can partially fund the building of a more classic* wheelset. Someone buy these and help get our boy some Phils!

Asking: $250

The wheels retail for $269 US (+Shipping / Duty) and they look today exactly as they did on January 3rd when he got them - still in the plastic, never mounted, never ridden.

Keep in mind, these are the high flange hubs with cutaways, not the new solid flange / ugly text hubs that IRO is currently selling.

*Anyone have any rim suggestions for a classic wheel build? Low profile, either box rim, rounded or very light aero.

I’ve never really considered myself much of a fan in the sense that I don’t ever sit down and listen to one of their records from start to finish but I don’t think anyone can deny that when it comes to putting on an exceptional live hardcore / punk show, even after all this time, few do it better than H20.

Chris Hamball on the mic for a little rendition of Guilty By Association.

Best of luck to Taylor who just left for a little European adventure of his own and took a leg full of road rash with him.

Does this photo really need any sort of caption? Didn’t think so…

I’ve been getting out of the city a lot on the weekends this year and it’s been a lot of fun but I do definitely value my weekends at home; just rollin’ around, going to the pool, spending time with friends and letting the day take us where it may.

Just can’t get enough of that old timey racism!

I don’t know why everyone is always trying to cram my turbo thighs into skinny jeans…

…or white jeans, for that matter.

But I’ll take ‘em all, anyway!

Not gellin’

Gellin’

Not gellin’

Gellin’

Not gellin’

Gellin’

Definitely Gellin’

“Hey Matt! Look at that kid! He’s lookin’ at us! Take a picture!” Um, ok. Happy fellas?

Spark was kind enough to take me to my first TFC game last weekend which was a lot of fun and a great opportunity to drink giant beers out of a sippy cup and do some quality people watching - thanks buddy!

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

Try: Simple Life | Darling Corey

Buy: Chuck Ragan Store

Well, the only pair of jeans that I owned that hadn’t yet had it’s crotch worn away by the force of my buns on my bike seat finally gave way so I decided that it was time to do something about it. The $30 Gap Jeans, the $275 Kicking Mules and everything in between have all fallen victim to my beloved bicycle. I don’t know if it is an already established term but if not; I’m coining it now and taking a stand against Saddle Shred™ - all you bikesters know exactly what I’m talking about. Worry not, you are not alone.

I’m not sure what made me think of it but I decided to burn away the frayed edges of the denim to avoid cutting it while giving myself a smoother edge to work with while patching.

Find a patch that matches as best you can - it sits on the underside of your crotch so unless you’re surrounded by total pervs it is doubtful that anyone will notice if it’s a shade or two off.

Cut the patch in two so that you can iron one on the inside of the jean and one on the outside. Remember to round the corners; 1. it’ll look better / match the factory edges of the patch and 2) it won’t snag as easily on things if there are no hard corners.

Iron on patches rarely adhere well to denim but if you’ve got a good size hole the two patches should adhere fairly well to each other.

Because the edges will almost certainly pull themselves away after one wear (if not before) it's worthwhile to go around the edges of the patch with a needle and thread. If you've lined up the patches fairly well then the thread should take care of both the inner and outer patches.

One thing I neglected to do but probably will do when I get around to fixing every other pair of jeans I own is matching the grain direction of the patch with that of the denim.

Hopefully after a short while the patch will wear in and won’t be quite as noticeable. If not, so be it, people don’t have to look at my crotch if they don’t want to - hard as it may be to resist.